First page.
This is your life and here is your pen. Where do you want to set it? You need an antagonist. You need character development. You need conflict resolution.
What if I want to be my own antagonist?
What if I want the character development to be the conflict resolution?
What if I want to begin with the epilogue and conclude with the setting?
I want to make it one of those 'choose your own adventure' books I loved when I was nine.
I might throw a couple pop-up illustrations in for good measure. Dirty ones.
Perhaps a 'where's wally' style puzzle for chapter 7:finding myself.
You should buy my book. You can put your laptop on it when using it in bed to prevent overheating. [I am doing this now with the Bust Guide to the New Girl Order.]
You could use it as a tray for painting your nails, as Laura and I did last week with her large, hardcover copy of Tattoos and Piercing:an anthology [or something like that.]
As a tool for hitting on boys [ah Kerouac] or you could actually read it [Susan Faludi's Backlash at the moment.]
In my acknowledgements I will thank my junior infants teacher Ms.Scully for teaching me how to write and my sixth class teacher Ms.Clarke for telling me I was good at it and my Leaving Certificate teacher Mr.Chesser for telling me I was wasting my talent and my first year professor, the most recent and the only one whose name I cannot remember for giving me a round of applause and that A+ before I dropped English.
