I broke one of my own rules today.
A couple years ago I decided I was never going to use the tried and tested "I have a boyfriend" line to get out of an awkward situation with a guy. Even if it happened to be the case. It just seemed like a cop out, and why should I rely on some real/imaginary man to stave off another? Besides, it sometimes gave the impression to the determined ones that the real reason I was declining their offer was because I was just a loyal girlfriend, that I wanted to but couldn't, when no, I didn't want to.
I figured that in the long run, it would be more beneficial for womankind if we were just honest.
"No thanks, I'm not interested".
"Excuse me, but you're interrupting my evening with my friend."
"I don't want to dance/drink/talk with you, and I'm not obliged to explain why."
But today i was caught off guard. Old guys always catch me off guard, I'm too naive, I assume they look at me and see that young lass who works in the hardware store/ clothes store/ library, who is, like all retail staff, paid to assist them and be courteous and smile. I forget that sometimes "Do you need some white spirits with that?" or "You can take computer number four!" can be code for "I want you. I've always wanted you. You were born, and then thirtyfive years later, I was born to want you."
It's a simple mistake, a mere translational faux pas.
Next thing you know, the guy who wanted your advice on choosing a paint colour for his kitchen is reaching over to admire the detail on your necklace. And the guy in the gardening section asks you for your number so you can "hang out sometime", while his wife and child are in the pharmacy next door.
In the library last week, I was told by an elderly man I was "nice to look at". Phew! Glad I'm doing my job right. Know what else in the library is nice to loo at? Books. Eyes on the page, Gramps.
But today during lunch, when a familiar face who frequents the library smiled on the street as we crossed paths, and it was sunny out so I smiled back with one of those "we don' really know each other but it's sunny!" smiles and he stopped me to ask if I was working today and I said yes, and then he asked if i had children, like it was the most natural question in the world. I was a bit taken aback.
"Do I have children?? I AM children!"
"Are you single?"
"Er... No."
*Hurries away*
I panicked, and relied on my make-believe boyfriend to rescue me.
Okay, I know, he's an adult, I'm an adult, and it's a free country -there's nothing wrong with it as such... but it weirds me out. Mostly because I'm always left wondering do I really come across as the kind of girl who would want to get with them? Which is silly. There is no "kind of girl" -but do I give out a vibe of wanting to hook up with older, often married men? UGH. I don't think I do. In fact, I feel as though I dress particularly young compared to a lot of my peers. I wear dresses and colourful tights and plastic jewellery. I'm still hoping to one day fill out in the chest department. I was not one of those sixteen year olds who dated guys in their twenties and got into all the clubs, and even now I get carded all the time and mistaken for as young as seventeen. [sometimes by seventeen year old boys. another story].
So when these older guys take a shine to me, it's not that I'm horrified they would mack on a woman in her mid-twenties, but that they'd mack on someone who could pass for even younger. That's what's so eww to me.
To summarise... Dear sleazy men. Please do not hit on women who are being paid to be nice. Be polite and wait until we're off the clock -then we can tell you where to go.
