So, last year I wrote a post about the importance of getting regular paps, where I described my own pap experience. Well, a couple paps later I figure why not update y'all? I registered with Cervical Check back in August which is an awesome program that provides free pap tests to women over 25, and got an appointment in September. All went fine, I was out of there in ten minutes and treated myself to ice-cream afterwards for my troubles. A few weeks later I get a letter saying my cells show signs of "irregularity" and I need to go back in six months. No biggie, I know this happens a lot and usually, by the time you go for the second one your cervical ecology has returned to normal.
So in April I go back for another, and -I have to be honest, if I had to rank it it would only barely make my top 3 pap tests ever. And it was only my third one.
For a start, the doctor seemed nervous and it turned out to be contagious. Starts asking me about my sexual partners and I start blabbing about how I'm sleeping with someone on the regular, though he's not exactly a boyfriend, but at the same time, we're not sleeping with other people, but I mean we're not like .. a couple. Wait, am I blushing?! Just shut up already! Anyway, she raises an eyebrow all judgementally and suggests I get tested for chlamydia. Which is fine, I'm all for sexual health and my last STI check less than a year ago, which is more than I can say for most people I know (yes I'm looking at you, and you -and you in the back) but I don't appreciate her attitude. Anyway, whatever, I agree to pay the extra 15 bucks for a chlam test if it will make her stop giving me the judge-y eyes, and then it's onto the table for the pap.
Skirt up, undies down, in she goes for a gander around.(Hey, that rhymed!) And then I hear the one thing you don't want to hear when you're half naked with your legs spread..
"Hmmmmm......"
"Hmm?" I ask.
"I'm just going to get the other doctor to take a look".
"Okay..."
I assume she's not calling another doctor in just to admire the great piece of kit that is my cervix. Even worse, it's starting to feel a bit uncomfortable to have a big chunk of metal stuck in my vagina for more than a few minutes.
Other doctor comes in and straight away I feel more at ease. She doesn't give off the super nervo vibes the former does.
Takes a look and right away goes "Oh right. That's just a [something-i-can't-pronounce-but-similar-to-a-birthmark]. Harmless. Oh and there's a polyp. Harmless too."
Which is good to hear, though I could still use a little clarification on what the fuck a polyp is or what a like-a-birthmark is doing up there. I want to ask if it's the shape of an animal or continent or anything, but don't.
Cool doctor leaves, and nervous doctor takes my pap swab, and then I'm allowed get dressed, and they tell me they'll send me a letter with the results etc.
ANYways. A couple weeks later I get letters telling me the good but un-exciting news that I don't have chlam and the somewhat bad news -that my cervix needs further investigation and I'm being referred for a colposcopy at a hospital. This procedure is basically just another pap test, except they use a special magnifying glass which lets them get even more up close and personal. They may or may not conduct the treatment on the same day -this involves inserting something that removes little patches of troublesome [read: potentially pre-cancerous] cells. It's still only supposed to take a few minutes and then you go home, so again sounds like no big deal. And again, lots of women get them, statistically it does not mean you're going to get cervical cancer, it's just better to be safe than sorry and all that.
I admit I am a little icked out about it. Mostly just because hospitals freak me out. The Well Woman Centre does not look like or smell like a hospital, whereas I imagine St. James' will. But overall, I'm a logical person and I take solace in the statistics and so won't fret about it. Hell, it makes me glad I signed up to Cervical Check -and oh yeah - I should mention that all my paps and this upcoming colposcopy are all free. Good news considering I am a broke and irresponsible student without health insurance.. But it feels good toI know that if something is up, I'm getting something done about it, and that is the point of this post. It might be considered oversharing or too much information, but it's important for women to talk about matters of the vag and it's important to get yourself checked. The reason these free screenings have been introduced is because issues can be so easily sorted if you spot them early, so there's no real excuse not to.
Go forth and register with Cervical Check!
P.S. I got the image from Comics with Problems -they archive vintage comics on health issues and have an awesome collection, take a look!!
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