the end of the year is nigh.I dig new years eve.
I think it's because I'm a sucker for nostalgia. I like the whole self-reflection aspect, thinking back over the past year, the great times and the shitty times, the lessons learned, the changes you made and want to make. All that noise.
I get that it's just another day, it's just the turning of a calendar page, that the whole idea of a "new year" is abstract and contrived, but that's not important. It's a time when a lot of people feel they get a new start, and there's a real optimism there that I'm just into.
2012 has been real.
I moved to Korea, by myself. Some people think that's "brave", but it's not because it wasn't scary for me. I've always been quite independent. I'm good at upping to a new, faraway city, it's one thing I feel comfortable doing.
What was scary was accepting a job as a teacher, not knowing what age my students would be, or how many classes I would have, or whether I'd physically be able to stand up in front of a room full of adolescents and speak with some kind of authority. And so at the beginning, I was just acting. Pretending to be a teacher until one day I realised I was one. I have loved it. I didn't think I liked kids before I came here -how ridiculous is that? That's almost like not liking people! (Wait...). These kids are awesome. Teaching has been awesome, getting to know my students has been awesome and those few students who started the year afraid to open their mouths but who now hang back after the bell rings to come up and say "enjoy your lunch, teacher!" are awesome!
What was scary was approaching a table of strangers, after psyching myself up for twenty minutes while sipping on a beer alone, introducing myself and asking if I could join them. This was three days after arriving, roaming around Bucheon on a mission to find the foreigner bar I had read about online. It might not sound like much, but that really took guts for me! And of course, they were all great people, and took me and and showed me a good time, and I met more new people, and they're all still my friends today. It's sweet when you do something scary and it pays off.
But by and large, coming to Korea hasn't been scary. I came with a job all secured, with accomodation sorted, with a sister who had been here before preparing me for some things and internet forums preparing me for the rest, with knowledge of cool music venues and decent restaurants from blogs and knowing there was a community of foreigners to meet. Next year, on the other hand? Next year is kind of terrifying!
I finish up my contract at the end of February. Then I have a few weeks to travel, and then I'm home. Home will be great for the first couple weeks and then I will go stir crazy, but realistically, it will probably be about two months before I take off again. This time on a one year US visa. Whereabouts? I have no idea. Maybe Portland, maybe San Francisco, maybe New York or Philly or anywhere else. Wherever I can find a job related to my masters. That's going to be the scary part for me. Applying for a real job, a job I'm qualified for but totally inexperienced in. Ugh. I'm scared that I won't find one, and scared that I will! But I'm huge excited for moving and being back in the US and making more new friends and hopefully seeing some old ones too.
New years resolutions? Don't be afraid, you're already dead. And be more punctual. Yeah.
