I came across (har har) the above posting on CraigsList today while browsing the Free Stuff section in the hopes of finding a record player or a nice lamp, and it got me thinking...
Reasons One May Go About Giving Away 200 Black Licorice Condoms Via CraigsList
- you remember anything that tastes like Jäger shots triggers bad memories and makes you gag, in the bad way.
- you and your black-licorice-condom-loving partner have gone to get tested together, agreed on some sexually monogamous boundaries and switched to the Nuvaring (so far available only in its original flavour).
- you unfortunately discovered that your partner was allergic to licorice extract and had to make a somewhat embarrassing trip to the ER, though secretly, you found the resulting swelling pleasurable.
- you actually ordered 200 Mango-Peach Condoms, but there was a mix up and condomdepot.com have a strict no-refunds policy. You WILL be sending a strongly worded email.
- the cutie you went on that one date with who casually mentioned an affinity for black jelly beans never called you again, and you realised you maybe got a little ahead of yourself. Decided adding "must like licorice" to your online-dating profile prerequisites would be a little restrictive.
- you're just really curious about the kind of person who would travel across a city to collect to collect a zillion free condoms from a stranger.
- you purchased said condoms because you like to be proactive about your sexual health, and you're fully aware that everything from chlamydia to throat-cancer-causing-strains-of-HPV can be transmitted via unprotected oral sex. But then you thought, nahhh. Because, really.
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